If you’ve ever found yourself sitting in a half-broken camping chair at 8:30 AM on a Saturday, 2 hours from home, clutching gas-station coffee, watching a fourteen-year-old miss a goal while an adult man in Oakley sunglasses loses his absolute shit on the sideline… congratulations. You’ve found your people.

I’m Courtney. Born and raised in Kentucky, built from a special blend of hillbilly genetics and relentless parental expectations of badassery, falling short in most categories of life.

I spent the last fifteen+ years in the trenches of travel soccer. I raised two boys: one who was smart enough to go to college for nursing, and a youngest who just placed 9th at the USYS National Championships (an achievement I take 100% personal credit for).

Along the way, I realized two things:

1. Youth sports will test your sanity in ways you never thought possible.
2. The stuff parents yell from the sidelines is either poetry or a cry for help.

When my husband yelled “OFFSIDES… MOTHERFUCKER!” at an AR (ref with the flag on the sideline)—and subsequently tried to eject himself from the game before the ref could do it—I knew I had to start documenting the madness.

That’s what Grown & Disowned is. It’s a home for the unhinged realities of adult life, including unfiltered parenting observations. It’s also where I slap the best/worst sideline quotes onto shirts and mugs in my Etsy shop, because if we’re going to lose our minds at tournaments, we might as well dress for it.

I have a lot to share, and I hope it brings a few cheap laughs to the brave souls willing to read my words.

Drop a comment below: What’s the single worst/funniest thing you’ve ever heard a parent yell from the sideline? Let’s hear it.