Courtney was born and raised in the great state of Kentucky—living proof that nature and nurture are equally powerful forces. Thanks to the “Hillbilly Double Helix” that doomed her and her two brothers, combined with a childhood of unrelenting parental expectations of badassery, she turned out exactly as maladjusted as predicted.

As her mama says, “Y’all are not right in the head.”

Naturally, Courtney funneled that legacy into raising two travel soccer players. Her oldest went off to college for nursing—proof he inherited the smart genes from someone else—while her youngest just took 9th place at the USYS National Championships, an achievement Courtney fully takes 100% of the credit for.

Decades on the pitch have given Courtney front-row seats to the absolute finest sideline behavior. She’s watched parents unravel, witnessed her own husband kick himself out of games before the ref could, and even heard an “OFFSIDES… MOTHERFUCKER!”

When she isn’t drinking coffee (wine), reliving childhood adventures, hiding from her kids, or sharing questionable life observations on Grown & Disowned, she’s slapping those atrocious, unhinged sideline quotes onto merch in her Etsy shop—because if you’re going to lose your mind at a youth sports tournament, you might as well dress for the occasion, even knowing it’s going to be the kid disowning the parent.

She has a lot to share and genuinely hopes it brings a few cheap laughs to the brave souls willing to read her words.